Sunday, 30 April 2000Vietnam: The war that is with us still25 years of perspective
Lessons learned, battles fought on the home front are viewed through the lens of a quarter century• What should we tell our children about Vietnam? Jess: I would tell everything. And I would tell both sides. It's clear to me that the Americans, the politicians, didn't know what they were getting themselves into. They didn't understand the culture, the history of the people and their spirit and resolve. Had we understood that, probably we would have taken a different approach. Probably give them rice instead of bullets. Vicente: My children very rarely asked about it. One of the questions people will ask, which I don't know is an insult but it bothers me, is, "How many people did you kill?" I don't think it matters how many we killed. I did tell them one thing that stuck in my mind for a long time. We were coming into a village with an exploded schoolhouse, kind of white with blue trim, but on it, written in kind of paintbrush-like crude writing, was a saying: "Each step you take in the path of war is death." Jerry: A lot of what happened made me what I am today. I was wanted for six years, and it was a mandatory five years in prison for saying, "No, I won't go." At 18, I was a college student ready to be a lawyer, and at 21, I was being run out of the country. It changed my life forever. And, granted, I got rid of a lot of the anger I had so I could fit into mainstream America. But my dreams are not what I'm doing today. Michael: For the first 25 years or so, Vietnam seemed to me to be two weeks ago. In the last few years, it's kind of faded a bit and now Vietnam seems like six months ago, not 31 years ago. It's been 31 years, 10 months and eight days since the last time I got shot. And I don't think I've gone an hour without thinking about it. Jess: I can relate to what Vince said about "how many people did you kill?" It is very offensive. And it's a statement about our society, how we're raising our kids, and that's why we shouldn't sanitize or sensitize people to war. They should know how awful it is. I spent a short time at Marine headquarters, and I had gotten my ribbons, and all the young kids would come to me and say, "Wow. I wish I could have been there." And they really don't get it. Harold: Having gone through World War II, and having seen what I did there, I felt I had to maintain my integrity on Vietnam and say, "My country was wrong." And I think subsequent events have have borne that out. I was a minister of a local church where sons of members of that church were in Vietnam and I was against the war, so there was a lot of tension. But we had to recognize that each us were standing for what we believed to be true. Alice: I think one of the lessons that came out of Vietnam was that regardless of what side you were on, it was honorable to be on that side. Many of us who were involved didn't see it as a simple act. Many of us were confused about being a part of this war machine but felt we had an obligation. Many of us were listening to our own special drummers and dealing with our own integrity. Bruce: I was having trouble with what you said about, even though no one served they were still patriotic. I was really having trouble with that in my craw. Simply by being spit on while I was in uniform in Grand Central Station. I think Alice really said it the best. I think there were people dancing to different drummers and the music they heard was patriotic, and those of us in uniform thought our patriotism was more important than their patriotism — although I never personally heard anyone in uniform suggest that anyone who was a protester was a patriot. Jess: I think it all involves intent. I went over there fully intending to help the Vietnamese people. I didn't go over there to kill babies or burn hooches. And I think a lot of the protesters also had good intentions. • How did your experience with the Vietnam era change who you are as an individual? Vince: One of the things I thought I had was an enemy out there and an enemy at home, too. And I knew how to handle one, but I didn't know how to handle this one. Harold: Those of us who protested, Vince, had two enemies also. The enemy of the federal government and the nasty mail and comments we got from citizens who were our neighbors. Jess: One thing I've noticed about Americans is that we're constantly looking back over our shoulders. And I go to Vietnam and they've pretty much moved on. One thing you see in Vietnam is the people, at grave sites, try to include things to carry the dead into heaven. You see a lot of ladders. I saw from a distance a grave site that had airplanes and helicopters carved from wood and sitting high atop bamboo poles. You walk up and you see underneath the wings of the airplanes, "USA." That's their impression of heaven is the United States of America. And it gives you a very strong feeling. What would have happened if we had done it differently? Jerry: I work with kids now. Most of these kids equate the '60s with drugs, and protesters doing drugs. And I think one of the biggest changes in my life was the chance to coach Little League in the 1980s, and to stand back and quit thinking about myself and give to these kids some of what I got when I was younger. John: I think that's pretty common. The anger you carried around, Jerry, is not unsimilar at all to some of the anger that a lot of veterans carried around with them. But I think we would all be better off if we had been like the Vietnamese that Jess came across and have moved on. There has to come a time in everybody's life to, as Jerry did, think about other people. Alice: I will forever be conflicted about being part of the Vietnam scene — intensely proud that I was a part of it and intensely angry at my country. The Gulf of Tonkin was a manufactured non-event. Lyndon Johnson and his ego and other politicians escalated this war based on false information. Someday I'm going to go to Washington and see that wall, but I'm not sure I'll be able to do it very easily. Harold: You'll cry when you stand and you look at those names. John: But you should go. Harold: I went into World War II very idealistic, very patriotic. I came out of Vietnam — the experience, not having been there — much more experienced about the willingness of my government to lie. Our country can make a mistake. And I think that's a healthy learning. Jess: Jumping ahead to what lessons we've learned, I can still see we haven't learned humility. And that's something we should have learned in Vietnam. Michael: I enlisted when I was 18. I knew at 18, that if I didn't go and let someone else go in my place, I'd be ashamed of myself forever. And so I did. And certainly it was the single most defining event in my life. I think I became a better person because of it. Vicente: I guess the lesson I learned is to be patient and assume that forgiveness comes. Because it's funny, from what I've heard, the protesters are still protesting and I'm at peace with you. I learned how to forgive. Jerry: Vince, it's over for me, too. But the thing that sticks with me, what changed, is my trust in the government I grew up loving. Alice: I don't think we've come to terms with Vietnam. Emotional healing was not a part. I think we buried it. And that's been a grievous error. I know I didn't discover my own pain until a workshop in '85. And I just erupted. Those are scars on the soul that can be healed and can be forgiven and can be assuaged in the right kind of arena. Jess: When I say we need to move on, I don't mean we can forget. It's always going to be here. It's never going to go away. But what I can do is accept it. And then do something constructive like helping the Vietnamese or helping the Vietnam veterans. That's what I do. Vicente: To forget my friends is tough, to forget the people who died beside me was tough. I thought about the enemy. But I was there to get a job done. Unfortunately, it got done — at least some of it did. I went to a reunion with my outfit in Washington and a Vietnamese lady was there and she thanked us. It really humbled me. That's when I started to think, "I wonder how the other side thinks?" The first thing I'd like to ask Jess is what the country looks like. I know how we left it. Bruce: Lots of lakes. From craters. • What was the attitude of protesters in America toward people who served in the military during Vietnam? John: It would be hard for me to condemn anyone going over there. My father was career Air Force, my brother was career Air Force. I didn't object to them being in the Air Force. I objected to me being in the Air Force. I didn't really come across anyone who had animosity toward soldiers. I guess, Bruce, you said you were spit on? Bruce: At Grand Central Station with my dress blues on, yes. John: That's the first personal case I've actually heard of in 30 years. Michael: Animosity toward veterans has not gone away. The stereotyping. It's like racial bigotry. You're never surprised but you're always disappointed. Vicente: I call us the silent majority. As soon as they find out someone is a Vietnam veteran, they assume he's a junkie or a mainliner. And if you really talk to a majority of the people who fought the war on the front lines, we didn't have time for those things. • What lessons can the next generation take from our nation's experience with Vietnam? Harold: Be realistic about the foibles and failures of every government, including our own. Bruce: Something I had on a field jacket I wore at the bottom of the world: "America, love it or leave it." Alice: Question, question, question. Question yourself and your political leaders. The unexamined life is not worth living. Jess: I think we should never involve ourselves in anything that is not close to our hearts. |
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